*I didn't have a huge birthday party for my child when he turned one year old. We bought a couple gifts, a cake and had lunch with the family. And I didn't cry or feel sad that he was turning one. In fact we never do much for birthdays, we prefer family dinners out and a few gifts. I never understood birthday's, the kid didn't do anything in order to be born it was mom who did all the work. I always thought if you want to celebrate something celebrate when your child makes good grades, does something kind or graduates from high school! I am also fairly stingy and if I start out with big birthday parties then I am afraid my children will expect even bigger each year. I want my children to learn to be grateful and thankful for their material possessions and what better way to do this than by giving only a few special gifts each year!
*So far my husband and I have cut Cole's hair twice and neither time did I get emotional or have any sentimental feelings about his hair. It is just hair and I guess I don't understand why the first haircut is any different than the other hundred he will receive in his lifetime.
*I feel bad when my child is sick but I always assume he will get better and don't worry about it. I figure I'll wait and if it gets worse I can take him to the doctor but most of the time it goes away. I just don't worry about these things but it doesn't mean I don't feel bad for him.
*I am the really mean mom that allows my child to cry in his bed and I don't go get him. I just don't see crying as anything bad just a way for him to express his dislike for bedtime. It is kind of like hearing my husband complain, I just tune him out but I still care.
*I didn't take pictures or cry when I dropped my child off at his first day of Mother's Day Out. I was just worried he wouldn't sleep and then I cried because I had to pick him up early!
So, I am not the normal sentimental mother who gets emotional over my child's milestones. I really love being a mom but I do not get overly involved in events. I tend to focus more on the big picture such as my child nutrition, emotional health, sleep patterns and his ability to grow up in a morally challenged and self-centered world. I am bad about holidays, birthdays, entertainment and general milestones. I am not sure why I am so complacent and unemotional and it may appear like I don't care but I do I guess I am just different!
4 comments:
I guess I am different then, too! So don't feel alone! You are a fabulous mother, and a giant bounce house and professionally made cake at a 1 year olds party proves nothing. All my favorite and most cherished memories are not of the major things anyway, but just the fun, day to day. But I do understand that unsaid "mom pressure" that exsists out there to overdue stuff or "event" our children to death! Really, you can just love them and play at home, without every tradition or milestone being marked with taking them to some expensive place!
I don't think there is anything wrong with what you are doing. I think it's great that you don't feel the need to conform to society's unrealistic expectations of mothers. I, too, find it ridiculous that people go overboard for birthdays and schedule their kids in an activity every night of the week. Our kids don't do much because we would all rather be at home together or out together. It's just what works for us. And if it means less stress isn't that the best thing for everyone? I think you are such an awesome mother-don't worry!!!! =)
I think you're an awesome Mom and I don't think there is anything wrong with how you handle mothering. In fact, I'm in agreement with you on everything. I have people who think I'm nuts because I let Katie Lynn cry in her crib or because I put her to sleep at 7:00 (instead of 10pm). I don't get misty-eyed when I think about cutting her hair and I don't think it's the end of the world that we aren't getting a picture made with Santa. I just don't see the point in getting worked up over so many things. It's just a waste of energy that I could be spending elsewhere. So keep up the good work. You're a great Mom!!
You come from that type of stock. I think my mom was like that, I was and i know Aunt Linda was. Being a good mom is not about the emotional stuff but about staying the course and seeking your child's independence!! Your goal is to grow them up not tie them to you! Love Mother
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