Sacrifice

The past couple of weeks have been tough for me. I am realizing the extent of sacrificing for your family. I always knew there would be some sacrifices required when you become a parent but I didn't know it would be this hard. Lately, I have been feeling like everyone else's schedule and needs far exceed my own. My husband works a job which requires him to go to work early in the morning and work all day never knowing when he will be done. His job is stressful and many times he is at work until late in the evening. Of course there are times he surprises me and comes home before 2pm but these days are becoming more and more rare. When he is on call at the hospital he must be able to drop everything and get there within 20 minutes which means I must be with the children at all times so he is available to leave. So to say the least, I can't plan to do anything with out my child unless my husband is off work. There are days he is "suppose" to get off work early and sometimes I plan something but it never fails that he ends up working late that night.

Then there is my needy child who does not do well if I stray from his schedule. Most of the time I can't go to lunch with friends or out in the evening because he needs a nap or to go to bed. And another difficulty is we don't have any family in Lufkin to babysit and our babysitter is in high school which limits the times we use her. Right now I m blessed to have about four hours a week while he is at mother's day out to run errands, relax and work although I find myself upset that I don't get the normal six hours that I pay for. My child doesn't sleep at mother's day out so I pick him up early and bring him home for his nap.

So for the past couple of weeks I have realized the things I must sacrifice to care for my family; friends, social events, church, hobbies, shopping and any time alone.

I admit I have felt more like I have been robbed of my needs than a mother who chooses to sacrifice for her family. But after many tears I am learning that it takes sacrifice to be the Proverbs 31 women. Have you ever read all of Proverbs 31! Oh my, can a women of this nature really exist? I guess that is why is says she is worth more than rubies and a women this noble, who can find! I fully understand the sacrifice of a women who "gets up while it is still dark.. and her lamp does not go out" (Pvbs 31: 15 and 18). I will never say that it is easy and I will always hope for some time alone but when I have times like this instead of feeling sorry for myself I will try to remember to be thankful to be able serve my family in such a honorable way.

Oh and my sweet husband has given me the ENTIRE day off tomorrow to do whatever I want (within reason that it) and I think I am going shopping!

-Tammi